I AM FINISHED!!!!

TOP TEN things that go through one's mind the day after finishing An Echo in the Bone by Diana Gabaldon:

10) Oooh I have ten minutes - I'm going to read!!! Oh. Wait. Shit.

9) How fast can I read the whole series a second time?

8) 2 years 'til new Jamie?!?!?! Give me the phone.  "911, What's your emergency?"

7) Does anyone know where I can get a wolf?

6) "How many bullets are left in this gun?"

5) EFF the Kindle. I'm buying the books! I need to do MAJOR PAGE FLIPPAGE right now!

4) "Edward? Jamie?" (yelled like "Cindy? Bobby?")

3) Did somebody say "cliffhanger"?

2) No dirk-carrying, cup-draining, peach-splitting or herb-collecting for HOW long??

1) Claire, you ignorant slut!

LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH INDEED!!!!!!!!!!

SPOILER ALERT (HOLY GOD THIS WOULD BE A BIG FRIGGIN SPOILER ALERT) Dinna read unless you  have read chapter 95 in AN ECHO IN THE  BONE. 

OH!
MY!
GODDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Claire and Lord John Grey, SITTING IN A (holy mother of god on high) TREE!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS: Dear Jamie,

You now have my blessing with the Indian women.

Love,
Carol

Love the One You're With

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you have read chapter 93 in AN ECHO IN THE BONE. 

I am never going to finish this  book if I don't stop STOPPING. But I canna help it; I have to blog. I have to write. I have to get all of this toxic shite OUT of my brain. And I also have to seek solace in YOU good sassenachs.. because you have all read this and have been through this gut wrenching ride I am now taking. It. Is. Killing. Me. And yet... I'm enjoying the heck out of it. Is that odd? Do I need therapy? I'm thinking the answer is "yes" on both counts.

OK all I really want to say right now is this: If I were Claire... and I was told Jamie was dead... and William walked into the room... I would ab-so-lute-ly LOSE IT - and I would DROP at his feet! If they are such doppelgangers, I would have my arms round his ankles and I'd be yelling "I LOVE YOU JAMIE!!! I LOVE YOU JAMIE!!!" as he tried to shoo me away with his - ah - shoe.  It would be one ugly scene. And Tracey would undoubtedly be rolling her eyes at my mother and saying "Someone really needs to get her some Valium".

OK have to go finish 93 and hopefully the book. I'm at 94% on the Kindle. It's 7:09 and The Pacific (aka awesome show on HBO starring Joe Mazzello who is MY YOUNG IAN MURRAY) is on at 9:00.

Pray for me por favor...I'll be back with an update soon!

PS - Has anyone realized how eerily calm I sound for someone who is soon to finish Echo?  I am starting to worry about myself. Truly.

Doctor Doctor, Gimme the News, I've Got a Bad Case of Loving You

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you have read chapter 89 in AN ECHO IN THE BONE. 

Whoa, y'all. I'm still processing. And I'm not even finished yet. Diana has done a fantastic job of tying up some of these storylines... or putting them back together again, I should say.

Claire showed up in Philly and SAVED THE MOTHER EFFING DAY, oh yes she did. DAYS, actually. Not only did she take out Henri-Christian's tonsils and adenoids... but she also felt around and took bullet #2 out of Henry. (Oooh I just realized both patients names were "Henry". Interesting little coincidence. Told you I focus on inane things.) I LOVED her surgical field in Henry's room... and how she made Denny wear a mask... and had the ether... and told Lord John he might want to back up a little because it was going to get a little messy. She did a FANTASTIC job of creating the most sterile environment possible. (Have I not mentioned I'm a bit of a germaphobe and am also the resident nurse in not only my house, but my neighborhood. A few weeks ago my neighbor's daughter called and said "Carol, my mom cut her finger and I can't look. Can you come over?) I absolutely LOVE reading about Claire's surgeries. Diana does such a thorough job at explaining exactly what is taking place - along with Claire's own fears and anxieties about all the things that could go wrong - that you feel like you're there, helping her along... like Rachel Hunter.

And speaking of... let me now turn this morning's entry to Rachel Hunter.  There she was - with her future sister in law (I hope) Dottie (whom I love more than all rationality allows.. and almost as much as her father, Hal) and William (he seems so stoic all the time) and there is that bug...ARCH BUG!.. sniffing around down the street. I swear to god, if that fool COMES NEAR RACHEL - ESPECIALLY before her big reunion with Ian (for which I am waiting with bated breath) I will... UGH! I dinna know WHAT I will do. I want to see that girl walk down the aisle in a white SILK dress  (since thee says silk is A-OK!) and with Ian on her arm with his cute little dots all up the sides of his cheeks. If Arch Bug kills her I.... I.... I.....  Sigh. I hate to say it, but I'm hoping he'll come to his senses and at least kill Rollo if he's going to kill a living, breathing soul. (I'M SORRY - I LOVE ROLLO - but c'mon now He's getting to be verra old and will die soon anyway and is a CANINE.)

I canna talk about that anymore, lassies. Next I will mention my love for James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser... and his letters to Claire whilst in France. His little story about the Iroquois chopping off his finger was priceless (along with his admittance that he might have checked out a boobie or two) and I was shocked he was able to write so much without the finger. Claire was right; she left him with a working hand. Outstanding. I just hope nothing goes wrong with his passage to the colonies... and I wonder if Jenny will be with him. Her thinly veiled apology-by-proxy was not enough. I hope she and Claire can make it right when she comes to America. (I willna get started on how bad I also feel for Jenny again... I think I've already belabored that point.)

Lordddddd it's going to be a long day. I am going to read now. Wish me luck. I feel like I'm headed up the Mount of Olives...

Philadelphia Freedom

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you have read the first 4 pages of Chapter 87 in AN ECHO IN THE BONE.

Dearest Claire,

I beg you to pipe down about Philadelphia, my friend. As my mother Patsy says: "Better than you has lived in Philadelphia." Let me tell you a little something about this city (which is really just a big town full of neighborhoods) that you call "grubby and unwelcoming".  I had the pleasure of visiting most major cities in the great United States of America when I was working before I had my children... and Philadelphia is at the top of the "welcoming" list. The people are friendly; but not fake. They'll help you out if you need directions to the best cheesesteak place (Mama's in Bala Cynwyd, just outside the city, shhhh that's a really well-kept secret) and give you a smile while doing it. They will be nice as pie to you (unless you're wearing a New York sports jersey) no matter where you are: the Northeast... South Philly... the Western burbs... Rittenhouse square.. Kensington... Society Hill... doesna matter; Philadelphians are good people and do not all live in row homes with "yards full of rubbish". 
Next time you're there in the 20th century, please do stop into the Dickens Inn (which is now actually called "The Dark Horse Pub") whose building was erected in 1788. You will get a tremendous feel for the true magic and wonder of Philly - and a lovely plate of bangers and mash to warm your wame. Also make sure to visit Boathouse Row... or visit the truly beautiful works at the Philadelphia Museum of Art... or the dinosaur bones at the Academy of Natural Sciences... or the truly amazing inventions at the Franklin Institute.

I thank ye... your humble servant,
Purgatory Carol

PS: Please dinna rank on New Jersey either, as my spiel is even worse for that lovely state... which has been made into a laughing stock by the likes of The Situation and Carmella Soprano.

An Open Letter to Herself

SPOILER ALERT: DINNA read unless you have read Chapter 86 in AN ECHO IN THE BONE. 

Dear Diana Gabaldon,

Might I say that you - I mean thee -  have completely outdone yourself on chapter 86 of "An Echo in the Bone" with Dottie showing up at Denzell's room. Every time you - I mean thee - write a scene like this, and share it with the world,  I feel a warm glow that travels up from my toes and spreads through my stomach in a great flurry like that of a good whisk(no e)y buzz.

I. Am. HOWLING at the hilariousness of this scene. It's classic cinema; a scene that burns to be brought forth on the big screen. Watching Rachel watch Dottie try to make her Lady-self into a Quaker makes me laugh so hard I just might tinkle in my trousers. (Please excuse the vulgarity of the prior statement, but goshdarnit; it's true.)

I hope you - thee - will accept my warm thanks for making my life a ridiculously fun place to be at this verra second.

Warmest regards,
Purgatory Carol

PS: I hope you didn't kill Young Ian because that will just throw me right over the edge.

Post Scriptum Scriptum: LOVED the Valley Forge scene. I'll give you a tour sometime if you ever make it to southeastern Pennsylvania and are looking for something to do. Just in case you're wondering if I truly love Valley Forge as much as I have lamented about in the past, please do have a gander at one of my (rather ridiculous) wedding photos below, taken in Valley Forge Park in 1993. (And please dinna laugh too hard at my hair. Again - it was 1993. My headpiece was a BOW for god's sake. Ahhh 90s fashion.) And notice, if you will, who is standing to my left in this shot. None other than Twitter Tracey, herself! And here we are - 17 years later - still putting our mugs in front of the camera!

What the Buck?!

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you have read chapter 85 in AN ECHO IN THE BONE. 

I canna BELIEVE I haven't mentioned Willy B. MacKenzie - aka Buck yet. I am so on the fence about this guy. I LOATHED him when he screwed Roger over, almost getting him killed. But now... sheesh.. I dunno.. he's helping Roger. And he's being honest. He told him he went through his study and read everything he could get his hands on. So far, he has been good with the kids.. and polite enough to Brianna... so I'm thinking "Geez - is this one of those times you have to be nice to someone who was a douche at one point, because he's family?" I dinna know.

What I DO KNOW is that JEM IS GONE!!!  Mandy woke up screaming... and Bree called to see if Jem was where he was supposed to be.. and all I could think was "Wow Bree is going to look like a complete ass calling someone's house at 3AM if Jem's sound asleep in bed." (Am I the only one who sometimes focuses on completely inane things??) But now Roger and Buck (who I want to stay in the 1980s, y'all, I don't know why) are crawling up to the stones to see if Jem's there and the stones are screaming  and and....

And I had to take my OWN IAN TO SOCCER, darnit!!!!

More later!!