Tuesday, July 22, 2014

William the Conqueror. Not.

Spoiler alert:  Dinna read unless you've read the first few chapters of part 3 in Written in My Own Heart's Blood. 

It's hot.  And I'm tired.  And
thirsty.  And I don't like anyone.
They're all a bunch of meanies.
OMG I'm starting to agree with Tracey.  I am sitting here reading all about William following along the mass exodus of Loyalists leaving Philadelphia. (Later, losers!  Don't let the cheesesteaks hit you in the ass on your way out!)  And I'm starting to think that's all he's ever done; FOLLOWED people.  He follows the military...he follows his father...he follows his father's rich family.  And worst of all, he follows the thought process that he's BETTER THAN EVERYONE...all because he has a title.  Pretty douchy, no?

And if one subscribes to this type of notion...one MUST admit the fact that William is the way he is due to the way he was raised.  And to this I say "Thank you, Lord John and family.  YOU have made this kid into the whiny, spoiled little brat he is today.  I hope you're proud of yourselves."  

Bet thy has never seen
me like this, has thee?
Meanwhile...how can I feel this way...yet love Hal the way I do?  And Dottie?  (Who is flawlessly played by a young Kristin Scott Thomas in my mind, I'll have you know.)  And Lord John for that matter.  How do I point fingers at Willie...yet laugh at their antics and wish there was a way I could jump into fictitious literaryland and have tea and crumpets with the Greys at 3PM every day??  Why do I long to raise my pinky while holding the most delicate 18th
Hal and I could drink a mean
Earl Grey out of this, no?!?
century Spode... and gossip with the family about all things, well, gossipy...be they political, religious or just relating to the local issues of the day?  I want to make fun of the rank of an officer with Hal, and the unfortunately incorrect length of some local socialite's skirt with Dottie (though the Friends would frown upon that at meeting.)

Now what is you doin' having yo'self
a big ol' party without ME, bitch?
Or even Lord John.  I know there's a magical queen in there somewhere - a la Lafayette from True Blood - just dying to let his guard down for once and snap his fingers in Z-formation with Tracey and me.  What a blast THAT would be.  Mmm...mmm... mmm... inDEED hookas. 

So...alas...I will just have to continue reading about Willy...hoping upon hope he's going get stuck with Jamie at some point.  I mean totally stranded for days (or dare I dream weeks...months?!)...learning to combine the upper crust intelligence he's acquired from his adoptive family with the brawn of one James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser.  (NOT that Jamie isn't wicked intelligent, duh.)  

Bottom line...I want William to MAN UP.  There.  I said it.  (If Dianne Feinstein can say it...so can I.)  I want him to jump into any given situation and use his noodle to take charge of said situation...and pay no attention to the fact that the aforementioned situation may suck.  

Just do it, William.  Just do it.   


Monday, July 21, 2014

MOP CHAT Tonight!

MOP Outlander Chat Tonight  at 9PM Eastern.  

Chat rules for this evening's MOBY discussion: 

The first 15 minutes of tonight's discussion will be about PARTS 1&2 ONLY!

The last 45 minutes will include THE ENTIRE BOOK.  


Friday, July 18, 2014

MOP SHOP Alert: FREE Standard Shipping to CANADA!

Offer valid at Canadian MOP SHOP site only - through Tuesday, July 22nd!  Whatcha waitin' for, Canadian Outlanders??  Get in there and beef up your Outlander wardrobe!  :)

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

"Why Do You Keep Calling Me Calvin?"

SPOILER ALERT:  Dinna read unless you have read parts 1 and 2 in Written in My Own Heart's Blood.

I was up reading at 3AM a few nights ago.  But I wasn't reading MOBY.


I woke up - tossing and turning - with my mind racing about Roger and Buck...and Jerry.

This is me - trying to process all this time travel:


I am all kinds of confused.  AND LOVING IT.  And I know things will be revealed going forward...because they always are.  But I'm going over timelines...and my brain is negotiating with itself in a quest to piece it all together.  And don't bother telling me not to...and to just "go with it"...or some such silliness...because that is the way my brain works.  I missed my calling on "CSI Jersey Shore."

So here's the thing.  How did a woman on a farm in North Umbria have Jerry's dog tags if Jack-friggin-RANDALL had them Inverness in MOBY??  And handed them to Brian Fraser who handed them to Roger.  But Roger was WITH Jerry Mackenzie in North Umbria when the aforementioned farmer's wife had them there.  (UNLESS the man with dark hair and bright green eyes who told Jerry he loved him WASNA ROGER???)  So now I'm all KINDS of wondering if Roger is going to go through the stones with Buck AGAIN and find Jerry or what?

Frank, during his brief trip to
the 18th century (in my dreams.) 
AND AND AND...as we were discussing in MOP Chat last night; how did Frank's letter get into a desk at Lallybroch?!?  Riddle me THAT!  (Kidding - dinna tell me, please. Nae spoilers, aye?!) I suppose I'll just have to keep reading to find out.

AND Poor Jem.  I can handle a lot, y'all...but I canna handle the back and forth with little Jem being hunted by Rob Cameron.  And that story in the letter by Frank???  That exactly why they want Jem.  I thought it was about time travel...but if that were the case, they could have taken Bree.  They want Jem because they think he's going to rule Scotland.  (TELL me that wasn't a bomb dropper when you read THAT little tidbit.  WOW.  Canna wait to see what happens with THAT storyline.)

A few things:

- DOUGAL EFFING MACfrigginKENZIE for the love of all that's holy!!!  Yet another "SHUT UP!!!" moment in this series.  I loved every second of his visit with his twin Roger.  And comments like "feeling a state of bemused horror" just make me a) giggle, b) TOTALLY feel the scene and c) realize I'm feeling the same EXACT thing at seeing Dougal again!!!

- That letter Frank wrote to Bree.  Tell me I didn't cry - right there in my bed at 3AM - when he signed it "Dad".  OMG I cried an ocean.  I am telling you...Tobias Menzies' casting - coupled with my "Leaf on the Wind of All Hallows" read a couple years back (was it that long ago??) - has softened me to Frank BIG time.

"Take your damned hands off her."
And don't eff this UP, Roger!!!
- ROGER HELD BLACK JACK'S HANDS AND PRAYED OVER HIM.  (insert my gobsmacked face here)  What in the name of all that's holy.  I am living in TERROR that Roger is going to mess things up for Jamie and Claire.  What if Randall falls for ROGER?!?  What if that teeny prayer session makes Black Jack find God and throw away his wicked ways??  What if George McFly doesn't get the girl?  (Sorry - had to.)  SO MANY WHAT IFS!!!!!

- Bree is takin' the bairns and getting the heck outta dodge.  And putting herself right smack into the middle of the American Revolution in Phila-delphi-A.  Oy.  I suppose Frank is right; the safest place is the past.

But what about HAROLD ROGER?!?


What is that poor soul going to DO??  Shiz - he's OLDER THAN effing JAMIE in 1738!!!  It's not like he can WAIT FOR BREE or something!!  Boyfriend's going to have to get his ass back to the 80s (like all the clothing designers seem to have done recently; lorddddddddd the stripes)...read Bree's note...and then get his ass back to 1778 Philly.  OMG this book is so brills I don't know what to DO with myself!!!  Time travel RULES!!!

OK on to Part 3.  Wish me luck!!!

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

MOP Talks MOBY!!!

Check us out as we discuss Parts 1 & 2 of Written in My Own Heart's Blood!



Monday, July 14, 2014


MOP Outlander Chat Tonight  at 9PM Eastern.  

Chat rules for this evening's MOBY discussion: 

The first half of tonight's discussion will be about PARTS 1&2 ONLY!

The second half of tonight's discussion will include THE ENTIRE BOOK.  


Tuesday, July 8, 2014


Just in under the wire because Tracey and I are out and about and up to no good! ;)

Friday, July 4, 2014

Time Keeps on Slipping, Slipping, Slipping...

SPOILER ALERT:  Dinna read unless you've read chapter 31 in Written in My Own Heart's Blood.

If the house is-a-rockin'...
Jamie and Claire
Sittin' in a Tree
First comes love...
Then comes marriage...

Then comes schtupping in a potting shed!!!

DAMN, boyfriend...you sure know how to make an entrance!!!  For a minute there, I thought I was back in Lazarevo!! (Bronze Horseman by Paullina Simons reference.  If you havena read it...GET ON IT.)

And isn't it just like Miss Herself to sneak that up on us like a rainstorm in the desert.  (Better put an extra S on that because it's more like DESSERT!)

Elfreth's Alley.  Recognize. 
Meanwhile...back at the townhouse (or "row house" {pronounced row-hayus} as we Philadelphians like to say), has Jenny left Hal alone?  Or will she shank him when Ian and Rachel go to visit Marsali at the print shop?  And, um, is Fergus even at the print shop?  I don't even remember.  I must do some searchin' through Echo when I get a few minutes so I can get up to speed on Fergus's whereabouts.

So where am I now?  Bree just found Jem.  Thank GOD.  I was on the edge of my seat for that little roller coaster ride.  That poor kid.  He is NINE!  Just like my own son.  I swear, I was tearing up in the salon chair yesterday during my partial foil!  That poor soul was just wandering around IN THE DARK (sung like Billy Squier).  I was a puddle the entire time I was waiting for my vanilla creme glaze to kick in.  Can you imagine??  That little guy dealing with those crazy-assed machines...and the stairs...and the possibility of getting sucked back to the 18th century.  What a ride!!!

See Rob rub.  Rub, Rob, rub. 
That Rob Cameron is a douche of epic proportions.  I hope Bree leaves him in her hidey hole for the entire book and makes him rub the lotion on his skin.  Shit, I'll buy Diana Gabaldon a poodle named Precious if that happens.

And Roger.  Poor Roger.  :(  Oh I am sick for him.  He is - and always will be - Job.  I went from "Ugh...I already read about Roger and Buck trekking across the countryside and trying to get back" to "Holy shit, Roger's the most interesting thing in this friggin  book!  And that's saying something because every storyline is on fire!!"

Brian Fraser.  BRIAN FUCKING FRASER.  I shat my pants on the spot when he appeared at the friggin door.  Diana Gabaldon, man.  She is the shiz!!!  WHAT a gift for us!!!  I wanted to stand up in the salon chair and go "WUH WUH WUH" with my fist like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.  And Janet Jenny.  Lorddddddd 15 year old Jenny.  And I was calculating in my head like a crazy person while reading that...FEVERISHLY trying to figure out how old Jamie was and WHERE he was and if he was a couple years older or younger than Jenny.  (Memory.  It's not just for breakfast anymore!)

Brian WHAT?!?
Actually - when we first saw Brian, I was wondering if Jamie was going to come toddling to the front door...and I'm kindof glad he didn't.  My heart would not have been able to handle that at_all.  I would have run screaming from The Style Room, yelling "Help me, help me, Jesus, Bride and the saints!!!" and scared the crap out of the lady next door in the bakery.

OK - enough of my rambling.  Later, y'all.  I have to go read.

Post Scriptum:  Isn't DG a sly one with flipping back and forth between worlds?  I had forgotten how maddening, yet delicious it is when you get SO into one storyline...find yourself in the other world and think "Oh crap"...and a few paragraphs later are completely and utterly immersed in THAT world...and never want to leave.