Rescue Me

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you've read Chapter 102 in A BREATH OF SNOW AND ASHES.

Holy MOLY. I canna BELIEVE what I've been reading over the past few days. It is SPEC-FRIGGIN-TACULAR. It's like someone picked me up and plopped me right smack in the middle of OUTLANDER. I love you, Diana Gabaldon. I really, really love you!

OK so first off - how about Jamie kidnapping Mrs. Forbes? Holy god I was L-O-V-I-N-G it. It was the old Jamie that I know and love! Total crisis, and yet he's calm, cool and collected. And being all charming and frisky with Mrs. Forbes! I wished I was her! And when he picked her up??? UGH!!! I wonder if he really ate the picnic lunch with her.... and how he managed to get the brooch. I want more details! SUCH A GREAT SCENE!!!

OK so what else - so much. Roger and Ian grilling Forbes about Bree's whereabouts?! The ear! Oh god, the EAR! And Ian SMOKED IT and is now carting it around in his little man-purse. Oh god that is so awesome I dinna know what to DO with m'self. The only thing missing from that scene was my boyfriend, Fergus. I mean, really. He would have used that hook to really do some psychological damage, dinna you think???

I didn't talk much about Claire being rescued from the Governor's boat. When Jamie came through the fog in the rowboat, I honestly thought it was one of the most powerful moments in the series. No drama. No pomp and circumstance. Just Jamie - quietly doing what he does best; rescuing Claire. I could see him in that boat... coming closer...closer...closer... until he was right up next to the ship - and standing next to Claire. I found it really moving.

OK it's Outlander Chat time - more later!

Moya Brennan

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you have read A BREATH OF SNOW AND ASHES.

Heard this Moya Brennan song on my Gaelic (and Gaelic-esque) mix on Pandora today... and looked up the lyrics. Wow. Go here and listen to it - and read the lyrics. Absolutely beautiful. It's not available at Playlist.com so I canna put it on my playlists - but it's perfect for one of the Outlander movies... somewhere. Havena decided yet.

Gaol Sucks

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you've read chapter 98 in A BREATH OF SNOW AND ASHES. 

So wow. Where to start? Malva a ho. A big, fat, DEAD ho. And I canna feel bad about it. Not one bit. What I can feel bad about is Claire's ridiculous and annoying need to GET INVOLVED in every crisis that is better off left alone. Case in point - trying to save Malva's dead bairn. Although - she's a doctor - I get it. How could she see that belly move and NOT try to save the baby? I was with her on that. But I'm thinking she should have run to the house - gotten someone - ANYONE - as a witness - and said "OK I'm going to cut into this dead Malva I just found in order to try to save her baby. Capice?"  And she would have had an alibi. But no - she just slices right in with her Swiss army knife and once again - Claire's in deep doo-doo.

How POWERFUL was that standoff scene with Jamie and Claire at the big house? Holy god. I love how Claire is just able to shoot someone and go about her business of hiding in the house and making a bite to eat for Jamie.. and no one cares at all. Why isn't anyone taking her to jail for THAT?

And speaking of jail. Or Gaol. Um, YUCK. Mrs. Ferguson would have been told PRONTO that she should keep her damned hands to herself. I mean, really. I couldna have even stayed in the bed with her after that - roaches or no.

And is it me or do people just go into labor all around Claire - at opportune times? It's fascinating! "Oh wow - I hate being in jail - it's stinky and I'm bored". "Shriekkkkkk!" "Oh look - I can get out and hang out by the hearth and deliver a child!  That will take a good couple of hours. Excellent!"

Here's a scene I want to see in ABOSAA: The Movie: Jamie running after the carriage as Claire and the Governor are riding down the street. Oh. My. Holy. Ever. Loving. God.   I DIED! SO heroic. And Ian's all "Um, hullo, Uncle Jamie? Your damned HAT fell off and now the whole world and maybe even Jupiter knows it's you, ya DUMBASS." That was tremendous. Poor Jamie. He's all panting and shiz. It reminds you he's now old, just like the rest of us.

OK more in the next entry - this one's gettin' a little long....

All Together Now...

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you've read chapter 82 in A BREATH OF SNOW AND ASHES.

I have to say something. Loudly. But I don't want to give away a spoiler.
So scroll down please, if you will....

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MALVA CHRISTIE IS A BIG, FAT, EFFING SLUT!

Nothing further.
For now.
More to come...

He Said, She Said

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you've read chapter 80 in A BREATH OF SNOW AND ASHES.

Here is the email I - not two seconds ago - sent Tracey:

CHRIST ON A CRUTCH!!!!!!  Shannon and I are at the part where HUGEASS PREGNANT BITCH OF A HO, MALVA accuses Jamie of knocking her up. Claire ran out - Tom Christie asked for money and Jamie's coming to the realization that he's in deep doodoo.

I am not even for ONE SECOND going to even CONSIDER that Jamie did anything wrong.

I just don't know how Malva knows about the butt-scar.

MMMMMPPPPPHHHHHMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

Dear John

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you have read chapter 76 in A BREATH OF SNOW AND ASHES. 

This will be a quick one because I must get back to reading. I just wanted to say few things before I forget them.

So I've read more about Lizzie and the Beardsleys. Or shall I say "about Lizzie Beardsley and her two husbands" now that Jamie married Lizzie and Kezzie and Roger married Lizzie and Jo.  I dunno...it's totally creepy... and yet, I can't help thinking "GO TEAM LIZZIE!" I mean - wow. She's got two of the same guy pretty much. Can you imagine the possibilities? Double the dinner being caught. Double the wood being chopped. And double the bedroom fun. FOR HER! For once - it's not a GUY having all the fun! Not a bad deal, I'm thinking. And if Bree could just get the pizza going, it can be "Two Guys, A Girl and a Pizza Place"!

Now... what do the Beardsleys look like at this point? How old are they? 20? 22? Hell if you can make them look like Rob Pattinson I'm thinking Lizzie should just put a big, old "I WIN" sign above her door.

Actually - speaking of Rob Pattinson, I have been thinking of him for Roger for the longest time. I can literally hear some of you cringing - and some of you cheering. It's making me giggle. I dunno... if you can put the enormous monster that is "Twilight" out of your brain for one second, you might be able to see this along with me. He could just do the whole understated, sweet, slightly tortured soul soooo well. Hell - pull Twilight back out again for that matter. Cuz I think I just described Edward Cullen. No WONDER I love Roger!!

OK moving on - had a dream last night that I was MARRIED TO JAMIE and we lived in a HUGE MANSION with lots of gorgeous dark wood moulding. Only problem? HE WAS AWAY - so I didna even get to enjoy or even SEE him. What was weird was that the mansion was very old - and so were most of its' contents - but it was modern times, and I saw Jamie's clothes. And there was a HAWAIIAN SHIRT in his wardrobe. NOT EVEN KIDDING. How funny is that???

OK lastly for now - I am loving  John Grey right now and just cried a tear when I read Jamie's letter, telling him they canna continue their correspondence. I keep finding myself saying "OMG you HAVE to TELL him about Claire/Bree/Roger and warn him about the Revolution!"  Am I the only one thinking this??? Take the chance that he'll think you're a freak because you might be able to save his life!

A Breath of Snow and Asses

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you've read chapter 73 in A BREATH OF SNOW AND ASHES. 

OK first question: Is everybody just doing everybody on the Ridge and in River Run these days? That's what I'm feeling like.

Duncan: I canna blame him. Not one bit. IF (and that's a big "if") he's telling the truth about being impotent since he was young and that something suddenly came up when Phaedre was cleaning up his butter. No pun intended. 

Lizzie:  LIZZIE YOU IGNORANT HO-BAG! Who knew she had it in her?! No pun intended. What is she, Malva?! And she did BOTH of them?!? BLECH. I still havena finished the chapter so I'm still a little confused on what exactly transpired. Did they mean to trick her - or did they think she knew the diff? Not really sure at this point. All I know is she's got a bun in the oven and doesna know which Beardsley put it there. Um, ew.

And might I say, I'm sick of Jocasta. I really am. I dinna think I care too much about her welfare. Is that mean? I think I'm just starting to really classify her with her brothers and think "ick". I REALLY wonder more and more about what Ellen was like, coming from a horrible family like that. 

OK - SO - on to more important things. Ian. SOBBBB! Poor baby. I cried for him when he was getting all philosophical about his daughter - and when Bree prayed to Frank to take care of her. Poor souls - both of them. What a poignant scene. I also started to really feel for Bree - and the loss of the only  father she'd ever known until she went through the stones and found Jamie. Even if I didna like him all that much, Frank was her world - and now he's gone. I almost wish he'd somehow show up on the Ridge. I really do. That would rightly muck things up for sure. My god IMAGINE the fun!!! Oh god - that meeting. Jamie vs. Frank. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!

And WHO is Ian going to marry NOW that Lizzie has seen fit to roll in the hay with the Beardsleys and get herself knocked up? OH and how about the admission that she almost did the nasty with Bobby Higgins! WOWWY MCWOW! I didna even know they kissed - let alone came close to fornicating.

DAMN. Life on the Ridge is pretty interesting, ken?