Friday, February 19, 2010

I Mean to Take My Time About it, Aye?

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you have read chapter 30 in A Breath of Snow and Ashes.

Forgive me for not reading/answering the comments in my most recent blog entries. I plan to do that tonight. I've been a little crazy and don't want to rush through anyone's point of view... or friendly advice... or heartfelt opinion.

Tracey said I would suffer literary Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.... and I think that's happening now. I hadn't read much since finishing chapter 29... but have started to this afternoon and am sitting here with my book and a cup of coffee. And the more I read, the more I feel a sense of sisterhood with Claire. I wish I could be at the Big House. Not inside the house, mind you. Just.. around. And not to comfort Claire or reassure her... since she doesn't want that right now.... from anyone. I just wish I could be available.  Without hovering... without being in the way... so that when she does want to talk... I could be there to listen. That's what I wish for Claire Fraser right now.

This storyline is very complex and heartwrenching. It makes you search your soul. It makes you go through a multitude of emotions, trying to figure  out how you would feel... what  you would do... what you would say...

I'll tell you this much. One more thing I wish is that they'd just kill Lionel Brown and get it the eff over with. Claire doesna need the anxiety of his impending death weighing heavily on her... along with the massive storm she is already trying to keep herself afloat in. It's just a heavy weight that is pulling her down and making her focus on the negative... instead of looking toward the positive so she can begin to heal. His death would help her heal. I truly believe that. Jamie is right. Where will they send him? Who will be just - and punish him to the full extent of the law? And which law is that, prey tell? (God... and I thought dealing with my own town council was rough!)

What made me stop reading for a few minutes to blog? The following:

"In the open, he'd said, standing on his feet before witnesses. Slowly, I closed the box and put it back on the shelf. 

What then?"

"What then", indeed. "Then" is what is important. Not some piece of filth who doesn't have any common decency...or even a soul for that matter. He's trash. And I don't know about you... but I dispose of my trash as soon as it is no longer useful. Jamie had better hurry up - ask his questions - and then dispose of the trash... before it starts to smell.


  1. Hm. I definitely agree that this is one of the most complex and heart wrenching story lines Gabaldon has offered us.
    Without offering any spoilers, though, I will say that I'm on Chapter 88 and think Tracey is around the same part, more or less. I'd LOVE to chat w/someone about where I am, and canna wait til you all catch up and can discuss!

  2. Re Lionel: Be careful what you wish for!
    Poor Roger, who has been described as "a black devil" isn't scary enough to threaten Lionel into answering questions.

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. Sirena and Tracy ~ if you like, email me to chat about those later chapters:
    Roger, the dear man, is a pacifist. He may be capable of murder when pushed to no other choice, but at heart the man simply isn't "bloody" like Jamie. Same strength of character and deeply contemplative about the human condition, but nurtured in different time period.

  5. Ladies,
    I found my way to your blog a week or so ago, and have been working my way through slowly. I actually began my Outlander adventure last year when I was laid off. I had plenty of time and managed to get through all of them in about 2 months - needless to say, I'm crazy about J/C as well.

    So, the point of this post - I fully expected you to have a comment about Jamie's confession to Claire about what has been going on during his visits to the Indians that he made in Chapter 31. Perhaps I'll find it in later blogs? I'll keep reading...

    I know this is an old post, hopefully you're still paying attention and haven't moved on???

  6. Jane Ellen - KEEP READING! I'm sure I finally mentioned that at some point. That was a real turning point for me in the series. I couldn't even think about Jamie Fraser for a long time. It seems silly now.. but when I was going through it (LOL "going through it" like I really know him and he's real) I was devastated. Let me know if you want more clarification because I am always willing to discuss Jamie Fraser!! :)

  7. I just had to put down some thoughts after reading Chapter 30. I could totally relate to Claire after talking with Ian.(God I love him) Anyway I am in no way comparing my illness with someone that has been raped, just want to say that up front. When Ian says It's still you Auntie, I just cried. I was diagnosed with breast cancer and due to the stage and lymph node involvement I had a double mastectomy. I won't go into the details but I remember feeling like Claire to an extent. I felt like when I came out of everything that I would emerge scarred and feeling less like my former self, but I did survive, by a miracle. I came back into the land of the living and definitely a better person going forward. I am so glad I found this blog even if no one reads my comment, its good for the soul to put down your thoughts.

    1. I have just read your comment, and I hear you and relate to you (I'm a different kind of cancer survivor, but nevertheless know the sense of losing my me-ness)! Keep your head up, stay strong, and remember Claire's speech to Jamie about not being defeated!

  8. Reading part 4 made me incredibly proud of Claire. I too, Carol, wanted to just be THERE for her. I have come close to a similar situation myself and it changed me in ways I never thought possible. But the thing is, you have to carry on. You can not give into defeat. DG was so brave in the way she handled this as well as Jamie's Breeeeeeeeana's rape (lest we forget ladies the poor thing went through terrible things too).

    I was so relieved when I learned that Marsali is okay but now I just keep wondering about her relationship with Fergus. What's happening there? Claire never had the chance to get it all out of Marsali.

    And as for the Browns and Brownsville... I need God to deal with my heart for I want the whole lot of them to burn.