I'm Only Happy When it Rains

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you have read chapter 118 in A BREATH OF SNOW AND ASHES.

OHHHHH MYYYYY GODDDDD!!!!  I weep for Lord John. I seriously do. His love for James Fraser is so unconditional and all-encompassing... MY GOD. It's almost more abundant than Claire's. It's like he was born to walk this earth in such turmoil over Jamie Fraser after having done something unconscionable in his last life. It hurts me to the core of my being to watch this poor soul be near Jamie and hold back his feelings. Is it me or is he VERY easy to relate to? Haven't we all - at one time or another - experienced his pain in dealing with another human being? Someone  you couldn't share your feelings with... or express your true self with? My god it's mind-boggling how this poor soul can stay in the same room with Jamie and not scream at the top of his lungs "I LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUCH!"

OK so I've had a glass of wine which may or may not be enhancing my ability to wallow in pity - be it self-inflicted or otherwise. But WORK WITH ME HERE, PEOPLE!

And PS -  I will say it: I GRIEVE Stephen Bonnet. Boyfriend NEVER had a chance in this life! His family was probably god-awful - the likes of which you read about in Angela's Ashes. They lead him to this selfish life of crime. I'll never understand him. It was like he wanted to experience love with Brianna so badly but just refused to let himself go that route.

If I had a request for HERSELF - Diana Gabaldon regarding book 8 - it would be "Can we PLEASE have an HONORABLE IRISHMAN????"  I have HAD IT entirely with shanty Irish drinkers, gamblers, smugglers and the like. That's all we ever see in print or film! You'd think there wasn't one dignified Irishman on the planet! I have 5 words for ya:

THANK GOD FOR PIERCE BROSNAN!!!!!!!!!!!

The Poor Wee Fools

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you have read chapter 112 in A BREATH OF SNOW AND ASHES. 

I am in the midst of reading but just had a "WOW" moment... and HAD to stop and blog.  Jamie, Claire, Roger and Ian are with the militia at Moore's Creek and know the battle will begin that afternoon or evening. Jamie has grease smudges on his hands and quietly tells Claire "They've cannon" as he's wiping his hands on his pants. He's realizing MacDonald's troops (who are Highlanders, remember) have swords and not a lot of muskets and powder... or men, for that matter... and are marching into an ambush but a huge group of militia who are armed to the gills.

"Oh, Christ," Jamie said, so softly I could barely hear him. "The poor wee fools. The poor gallant wee fools." 

When I read that line, I had to take a moment. This is one of the most powerful scenes in the series, in my humble opinion. Jamie is realizing his own Scottish people are going to die in this battle... and the group HE is fighting with will win. And he feels terrible about it - but knows he has no choice because - just like almost 30 years ago - Claire has told him the outcome of this war. He's remembering Culloden, when he was on the other side of the cannons with only a sword to protect him.

Wow. I mean... seriously... just... Wow.

When Irish Eyes are Smilin'

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you have read chapter 108 in A BREATH OF SNOW AND ASHES. 

I have a problem. Not so much a problem per se... it's more of a quandary. You see... there is a miniscule, teeny-tiny, barely there part of me that is attracted to... Stephen Bonnet. (cringes and waits til the backlash is over).

I KNOW! I KNOW! He's DISGUSTING! And I'm not really even INTO bad boys. I don't know what's WRONG with me!!! I mean... we've got Roger being all debonair and racing into the jungle to find him now that he found Bree and Emmanuel's dead. We've got Jamie hootin' and hollerin' all KINDS of  nasty, hot,  Scottish Gaelicness and war cries. We've got Ian - LORDDDD we've got Ian - sitting on the stoop of Bonnet's house, wringing the water out of his LONG hair (ohhhh the visual). And my ass is thinking "Wow I hate that I love it when Bonnet calls Bree 'Sweetheart'." !!!!! WHAT THE EFF IS WRONG WITH ME???

OK I have to go read more. Shannon says the rest of 108 is awesome. Hell Jen L says the rest of the book is awesome. No time to blog. I'll be back later though... because we must discuss!!

Rescue Me

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you've read Chapter 102 in A BREATH OF SNOW AND ASHES.

Holy MOLY. I canna BELIEVE what I've been reading over the past few days. It is SPEC-FRIGGIN-TACULAR. It's like someone picked me up and plopped me right smack in the middle of OUTLANDER. I love you, Diana Gabaldon. I really, really love you!

OK so first off - how about Jamie kidnapping Mrs. Forbes? Holy god I was L-O-V-I-N-G it. It was the old Jamie that I know and love! Total crisis, and yet he's calm, cool and collected. And being all charming and frisky with Mrs. Forbes! I wished I was her! And when he picked her up??? UGH!!! I wonder if he really ate the picnic lunch with her.... and how he managed to get the brooch. I want more details! SUCH A GREAT SCENE!!!

OK so what else - so much. Roger and Ian grilling Forbes about Bree's whereabouts?! The ear! Oh god, the EAR! And Ian SMOKED IT and is now carting it around in his little man-purse. Oh god that is so awesome I dinna know what to DO with m'self. The only thing missing from that scene was my boyfriend, Fergus. I mean, really. He would have used that hook to really do some psychological damage, dinna you think???

I didn't talk much about Claire being rescued from the Governor's boat. When Jamie came through the fog in the rowboat, I honestly thought it was one of the most powerful moments in the series. No drama. No pomp and circumstance. Just Jamie - quietly doing what he does best; rescuing Claire. I could see him in that boat... coming closer...closer...closer... until he was right up next to the ship - and standing next to Claire. I found it really moving.

OK it's Outlander Chat time - more later!

Moya Brennan

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you have read A BREATH OF SNOW AND ASHES.

Heard this Moya Brennan song on my Gaelic (and Gaelic-esque) mix on Pandora today... and looked up the lyrics. Wow. Go here and listen to it - and read the lyrics. Absolutely beautiful. It's not available at Playlist.com so I canna put it on my playlists - but it's perfect for one of the Outlander movies... somewhere. Havena decided yet.

Gaol Sucks

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you've read chapter 98 in A BREATH OF SNOW AND ASHES. 

So wow. Where to start? Malva a ho. A big, fat, DEAD ho. And I canna feel bad about it. Not one bit. What I can feel bad about is Claire's ridiculous and annoying need to GET INVOLVED in every crisis that is better off left alone. Case in point - trying to save Malva's dead bairn. Although - she's a doctor - I get it. How could she see that belly move and NOT try to save the baby? I was with her on that. But I'm thinking she should have run to the house - gotten someone - ANYONE - as a witness - and said "OK I'm going to cut into this dead Malva I just found in order to try to save her baby. Capice?"  And she would have had an alibi. But no - she just slices right in with her Swiss army knife and once again - Claire's in deep doo-doo.

How POWERFUL was that standoff scene with Jamie and Claire at the big house? Holy god. I love how Claire is just able to shoot someone and go about her business of hiding in the house and making a bite to eat for Jamie.. and no one cares at all. Why isn't anyone taking her to jail for THAT?

And speaking of jail. Or Gaol. Um, YUCK. Mrs. Ferguson would have been told PRONTO that she should keep her damned hands to herself. I mean, really. I couldna have even stayed in the bed with her after that - roaches or no.

And is it me or do people just go into labor all around Claire - at opportune times? It's fascinating! "Oh wow - I hate being in jail - it's stinky and I'm bored". "Shriekkkkkk!" "Oh look - I can get out and hang out by the hearth and deliver a child!  That will take a good couple of hours. Excellent!"

Here's a scene I want to see in ABOSAA: The Movie: Jamie running after the carriage as Claire and the Governor are riding down the street. Oh. My. Holy. Ever. Loving. God.   I DIED! SO heroic. And Ian's all "Um, hullo, Uncle Jamie? Your damned HAT fell off and now the whole world and maybe even Jupiter knows it's you, ya DUMBASS." That was tremendous. Poor Jamie. He's all panting and shiz. It reminds you he's now old, just like the rest of us.

OK more in the next entry - this one's gettin' a little long....

All Together Now...

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you've read chapter 82 in A BREATH OF SNOW AND ASHES.

I have to say something. Loudly. But I don't want to give away a spoiler.
So scroll down please, if you will....

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MALVA CHRISTIE IS A BIG, FAT, EFFING SLUT!

Nothing further.
For now.
More to come...

He Said, She Said

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you've read chapter 80 in A BREATH OF SNOW AND ASHES.

Here is the email I - not two seconds ago - sent Tracey:

CHRIST ON A CRUTCH!!!!!!  Shannon and I are at the part where HUGEASS PREGNANT BITCH OF A HO, MALVA accuses Jamie of knocking her up. Claire ran out - Tom Christie asked for money and Jamie's coming to the realization that he's in deep doodoo.

I am not even for ONE SECOND going to even CONSIDER that Jamie did anything wrong.

I just don't know how Malva knows about the butt-scar.

MMMMMPPPPPHHHHHMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

Dear John

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you have read chapter 76 in A BREATH OF SNOW AND ASHES. 

This will be a quick one because I must get back to reading. I just wanted to say few things before I forget them.

So I've read more about Lizzie and the Beardsleys. Or shall I say "about Lizzie Beardsley and her two husbands" now that Jamie married Lizzie and Kezzie and Roger married Lizzie and Jo.  I dunno...it's totally creepy... and yet, I can't help thinking "GO TEAM LIZZIE!" I mean - wow. She's got two of the same guy pretty much. Can you imagine the possibilities? Double the dinner being caught. Double the wood being chopped. And double the bedroom fun. FOR HER! For once - it's not a GUY having all the fun! Not a bad deal, I'm thinking. And if Bree could just get the pizza going, it can be "Two Guys, A Girl and a Pizza Place"!

Now... what do the Beardsleys look like at this point? How old are they? 20? 22? Hell if you can make them look like Rob Pattinson I'm thinking Lizzie should just put a big, old "I WIN" sign above her door.

Actually - speaking of Rob Pattinson, I have been thinking of him for Roger for the longest time. I can literally hear some of you cringing - and some of you cheering. It's making me giggle. I dunno... if you can put the enormous monster that is "Twilight" out of your brain for one second, you might be able to see this along with me. He could just do the whole understated, sweet, slightly tortured soul soooo well. Hell - pull Twilight back out again for that matter. Cuz I think I just described Edward Cullen. No WONDER I love Roger!!

OK moving on - had a dream last night that I was MARRIED TO JAMIE and we lived in a HUGE MANSION with lots of gorgeous dark wood moulding. Only problem? HE WAS AWAY - so I didna even get to enjoy or even SEE him. What was weird was that the mansion was very old - and so were most of its' contents - but it was modern times, and I saw Jamie's clothes. And there was a HAWAIIAN SHIRT in his wardrobe. NOT EVEN KIDDING. How funny is that???

OK lastly for now - I am loving  John Grey right now and just cried a tear when I read Jamie's letter, telling him they canna continue their correspondence. I keep finding myself saying "OMG you HAVE to TELL him about Claire/Bree/Roger and warn him about the Revolution!"  Am I the only one thinking this??? Take the chance that he'll think you're a freak because you might be able to save his life!

A Breath of Snow and Asses

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you've read chapter 73 in A BREATH OF SNOW AND ASHES. 

OK first question: Is everybody just doing everybody on the Ridge and in River Run these days? That's what I'm feeling like.

Duncan: I canna blame him. Not one bit. IF (and that's a big "if") he's telling the truth about being impotent since he was young and that something suddenly came up when Phaedre was cleaning up his butter. No pun intended. 

Lizzie:  LIZZIE YOU IGNORANT HO-BAG! Who knew she had it in her?! No pun intended. What is she, Malva?! And she did BOTH of them?!? BLECH. I still havena finished the chapter so I'm still a little confused on what exactly transpired. Did they mean to trick her - or did they think she knew the diff? Not really sure at this point. All I know is she's got a bun in the oven and doesna know which Beardsley put it there. Um, ew.

And might I say, I'm sick of Jocasta. I really am. I dinna think I care too much about her welfare. Is that mean? I think I'm just starting to really classify her with her brothers and think "ick". I REALLY wonder more and more about what Ellen was like, coming from a horrible family like that. 

OK - SO - on to more important things. Ian. SOBBBB! Poor baby. I cried for him when he was getting all philosophical about his daughter - and when Bree prayed to Frank to take care of her. Poor souls - both of them. What a poignant scene. I also started to really feel for Bree - and the loss of the only  father she'd ever known until she went through the stones and found Jamie. Even if I didna like him all that much, Frank was her world - and now he's gone. I almost wish he'd somehow show up on the Ridge. I really do. That would rightly muck things up for sure. My god IMAGINE the fun!!! Oh god - that meeting. Jamie vs. Frank. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!

And WHO is Ian going to marry NOW that Lizzie has seen fit to roll in the hay with the Beardsleys and get herself knocked up? OH and how about the admission that she almost did the nasty with Bobby Higgins! WOWWY MCWOW! I didna even know they kissed - let alone came close to fornicating.

DAMN. Life on the Ridge is pretty interesting, ken?