Friday, March 5, 2010

Now THAT'S a bad hair day!

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you hve read through the third page of Chapter 64 in A BREATH OF SNOW AND ASHES. 

Jesus god they shaved her head. THEY SHAVED CLAIRE'S HEAD!!!!! Oh I'm dying. Absolutely DYING!!!

Do you know what my profile quote is on Facebook? "What's wrong? Is it my HAIR?!"  And it's completely superficial and stupid, I realize. But it's because I have had CRAZY hair since the day I was born. And when you have CRAZY hair, it almost seems like your life sortof revolves around your hair. And you act like a complete dumbass about your hair. Hair is my life. Everyone I know has asked me to do their hair - fix their hair - hell, I've even cut and colored hair when I had no CLUE what I was doing. Seriously. I just love hair, OK?  (See yesterday's post mention about Robert Pattinson for backup.)

THEY CUT OFF HER HAIR!!!! She had no SAY in the matter!! She never saw it COMING!
Hell....*I* never saw it coming!!!  Wow, Diana... you have outDONE yourself in the "GOTCHA!!!" department, seriously.

It's not like she was Demi Moore and starring in GI Jane and did it on purpose. She woke up - AND IT WAS ALL GONE. 

OK going back to reading now... but all I have to say is this: "WHO is the dark haired GIRL leaning into Jamie??? (Don't answer that!) MALVA??? IS IT MALVA??? I will KICK HER ASS from here to KINGDOM COME. GET her ass OUT of that surgery and BACK to the cabin with TOM ASSHOLE CHRISTIE where she BELONGS!!!!!

OK I'm a little freaked out right now. Sorry for the shamefully crass language. But DAMNIT I am pissed. Poor Claire is DYING of dysentery and MALVA (or someone else?) is MOVING IN on JAMIE - and CUTTING OFF ALL HER HAIR!!!!!!! I need to process this. Seriously. Did this ever happen on Little House on the Prairie?? Did they ever shave off Mary Ingalls' hair because she was sick???

WHY??? WHY??? (screamed like Nancy Kerrigan)  And here's poor Claire - about 4 seconds back from the dead - and she is worried about Jamie seeing her. As if he'd give a rat's ASS about her hair, especially now that she's out of the woods and going to live. Oh the poor thing. God bless her.

OK Back to reading. More to follow....


  1. Re: Claire's hair: That killed me. KILLED me. And OMG, was I mad at effing Malva. I mean, Mrs. Bug, she doesn't know any better, you know? She believes in all that curse crap. BUT MALVA KNOWS BETTER. And she still took the lead--with Mrs. Bug--in letting it happen. Biatch.

    One question: WHERE WAS MISS BRIANNA RANDALL FRASER WAKEFIELD MACKENZIE EDISON in this freaky Friday salon-gone-horribly-wrong???? Carol, back me up here--if someone tried to touch even so much as one STRAND of our wee Patsy's (ie, our mom) hair, we would break their bloody fingers then, no?

  2. hi carol and tracey
    gotta agree on the hair. poor claire didn,t know what day/week/who/what/where/why she was when she woke and the first thing she finds is her hair is gone.
    - for most people it,s a big part of who you are .i was also very upset/angry for claire (god isn,t dg fab to stir up emotions like this?)and could so imagine what this felt like. i had long curly hair for years,and when i decided to have it cut to shoulder length it was a major decision.
    i,d wanted 2 things for a long time,my hair cut and a tattoo but couldn,t pluck up the courage for either. anyway i came out of the hairdressers figuring if i was brave enough for the haircut then i was brave enough for the tat and went straight to have that done as well. so if some nasty piece of work had cut off my hair without me knowing i would have been distraught.
    -and malva ?? oh dear, oh dear.
    keep reading and do some deep breathing excercises

  3. Lesley, you canna leave us hangit! Where and what is the tat?! And I totally hear you on the shorter hair. Tracey and I have curly hair and I recently went shoulder length and it's been traumatic to say the least.

    Tracey, forget Patsy - it's YOUR hair I wouldna let anyone near! Holy god! I'm having visions of early childhood when Patsy cut off all your hair!

  4. I have major problems processing this! I love what lesley wrote - it really does take a great writer to stir up emotions like this!
    But of all the things that have happened to Claire, this one is the one I'm having the toughest time with. Is that weird? the assault was a nightmare but vengeance was had! Havoc was wreaked! Now, Claire can't send anyone to kill for her in revenge, bc they did it for her own good. And thanks for mentioning, where was brianna of the red flowing tresses? Why? Why?

  5. Sirena--not weird at all re: the hair. It's like what many cancer patients say--they go through so much trauma and are able to bear it, but the minute the hair falls out, that's when they completely lose it. Hair represents SO MUCH in terms of one's own view of oneself. It was a really smart move on DG's part to include the hair thing in the narrative, b/c it's actually a verra contemporary "trauma" that readers can relate to.

    And while we're on the subject of Claire's I the only curly girl out there who wants to stick my hand through the pages and grab Claire's hairbrush every time she starts to brush it out???? GIRLFRIEND, LISTEN TO ME--you do NOT brush those curls!!! I swear, I'd go through the stones just to bring Garnier products to Claire. It would totally change her life, and she'd be so grateful that she'd let me do Jamie once to demonstrate her thanks....

  6. I didn't like the hair thing either, but I wasn't that upset about it. I thought it was another instance of Claire experiencing another one of Jamie's experiences (e.g. the rape). He had his hair shorn when Dougal tried to kill him with the ax. Jamie wouldn't care what she looked like and Mrs. Bugg thought she was doing something that might save her life.

    I am not sure Malva could have stopped Mrs. Bugg anyway. The only one that could have was Jamie and he wouldn't take a chance denying any little thing that might help in saving Claire. That was Malva next to Jamie and it was a good thing because that was what caused Claire not to give up.

    I also thought it was odd Bree was not in this part. I know she had Jem to take care of, but Roger could help with that. Maybe it was because she would know cutting the hair wouldn't help and Jamie would believe her, feeling she would know because she was from the future when medical knowledge was more advanced.

  7. "Did this ever happen on Little House on the Prarie??Did they ever shave off Mary Ingalls' hair because she was sick???"

    LAUGHING. SO. HARD. Oh, Carol, how I love this blog!!!

    And I started Drums of Autumn and read your favorite line today: "I mean to take my time about it, aye?"

  8. This episode was so traumatizing to me.. I CAN'T believe they cut off her hair!! Brianna couldn't possibly spend every minute in the room with Claire and it sounds like Mrs. Bug and Malva knew she wouldn't approve so they purposely did it when she wasn't there. Coming from a curly girl myself (who has stopped embracing her in inner curl, and flat iron it straight all the time :)... I have to say that Claire's hair (according to Diana) is not curly in the sense that us curly girls think of curly. Its curly WAVY... the kind of hair I wish I had. The kind of hair that you wash and brush out and its wavy and gorgeous....Fluffy, bouncy, type of wavy hair. If I lived in the 18th century, for sure I'd wear a cap (even though they are HIDEOUS)... I mean, imagine my hair with no flat iron/products. UGGG.

  9. This is Sal... clicked on anonymous for previous post by accident!!!

  10. Actually, in the Little House on the Prairie books they DID cut off Mary's hair when she had a fever and went blind. LOL!

    Anyway, I was also very upset by this and thought it was ridiculous of Jamie, Bree and Roger to leave Claire alone with Mrs. Bug and Malva. They should have known they would try something - Mrs. Bug is pretty opinionated and I'm sure couldn't wait for a chance to show everyone that "her" cure/fever reducer would work.


    -Sue A.

  11. Me no like Malva. She's a conniver.

    (Hi! I know I've been AWOL and such...our internet connection is wonky and we just had it "fixed"--not really--and now our wireless connection doesn't work so I can't use my super-spiffy super-fast laptop...still stuck on desktop which doesn't always work. Gah.)

  12. Hi Sassy! Welcome back!

    Anon - I agree. I like Mrs. Bug's character because she's feisty and there's always something going on (an a ham on the table) but I don't trust her as far as I could throw her!

    Jo - wowwy - you're making me want to go back and read Drums. :)

    Tracey - dinna forget "Curls Rock". I couldna live without their smoothing gel.

  13. I'm WAAYYY late to this but pretty sure they did shave Mary Ingalls' hair in the book when she had the fever that made her go blind.

    1. OMG I canna believe Tracey never commented on this! She is a huge Little House on the Prairie fan! LOL

  14. Every time I read Malva's name I think of the Seinfeld episode where he can't remember a woman's name and his only clue is that it rhymes with a woman's body part. So he starts guessing and one of his guesses is "Mulva".... LOL. (Which of course is wrong. Her name was Dolores.)

    1. LOLOL Sadie!!! I agree with that SO much that I actually just did a search to see if I ever blogged that before. It's SO true!!! "Mulva???" "DELORES!!!" (insert "laughing so hard I'm crying" emoji here!)

    2. Heehee! I'm so excited that you replied! �� What I'm doing is going through your "read" of ABOSAA post by post...I finish one and then click on the next one to see how far I need to read to avoid spoilers. And once I'm caught up thru MOBY, I'm going to go back and read your posts from the other reads so that I'm not in Outlander Purgatory feeling alone until Herself publishes the next one! I found you when I was reading Fiery Cross and scared my children by having tears running down my face and yelling "NOOOOOO" when Roger encountered his wee asphyxiation. I immediately Googled it and was verra relieved to find you so that I didna have to put the book down and possibly never pick it up again! ��

  15. Sadie-- lol-- I am doing the exact same thing. Just reading ABOSAA now.. Reading the comments and wanting to join in the discussion -- 6 years too late! But so glad Carol is catching this because it makes my first read thru so much more interesting. Being careful not to read too far ahead - but inadvertent spoilers are a bit like time travel, eh? Ya just go Oh! That's what happens!! and return to the page you are on because you don't want to miss a word of DG's aristry.

    1. Newly, you are SO smart to read the books. They'll never capture it all on the TV series, no matter how good it is!!! And PS - OMG - LOVED ABOSAA!!! It brings you back to that original "Outlander" feel!!! 😊OH and another PS (
      Post Scriptum Scriptum! Ha!) - holy cow BE CAREFUL about spoilers. Tracey caught a few here and there and it was really traumatic!!