Wednesday, December 9, 2009

America the Beautiful (and apparently stinky in 1767)

SPOILER ALERT: Dinna read unless you've finished chapter 7 in DRUMS OF AUTUMN.

OK so we're on our way to Cross Creek on a small boat which Jamie abhors. Why Claire isn't just shoving the needles in his neck without even asking is beyond me. He's going to be green in about 2 seconds. If you've never been seasick, you truly have no idea just how god-awful it is. It's like taking the worst nausea you've ever had and coupling it with the worse fear or panic attack you've ever had... and then asking someone to spray you ever 15 seconds with a spray bottle. But I digress...

One of my favorite Jamie lines: "What is it-has the spiced crab given ye flatulence?" Oh how I giggled at that.

Why is everyone so damned stinky all the time? I know, I know... it's the 18th century. They didn't exactly have Mennen Speed Stick. But - at some point - don't you go "Oh god I reek!" and jump in the lake?? Or rinse yourself with some water somehow? I mean seriously. The layers of filth and grime are making me so sick - as is the constant sweat.  It just goes to show what a fantastic writer Diana Gabaldon is... because I literally feel sick when these people are sick or hot or hurt, etc etc.

QUESTION:  Was anyone as put off as I was when Claire and Jamie were sweaty on the rock, discussing Claire being master of her domain - and she says "Well I was a widow for two years, you know." Um, HELLO??? If Jamie made reference to his sex life while they were apart - she would flip. Oh poor YOU, Claire! You went without Frank's manly essence and la leche cocktails for two whole YEARS! Somebody give this woman a prize! I was really mad at her for saying that. And of course - good-natured Jamie  is too nice to say anything. Or too taken with the realization that women also occasionally may take a solo trip downtown, if you will. (As Tracey says, how cute is it that Jamie is 46 years old and still learning about sex. Absolutely adorable.)
Did that bother anyone besides myself? 

OK and might I say - the grave is killing me. KILLING me. We're veering a little too close to that "Jamie Fraser is dead" feeling again like way back in Dragonfly in Amber, and I'm no happy with it at all, Sassenachs.

*Things I love so far:

*I loved when they were burying poor Gavin and they thought Stephen Bonnet was a ghost. Can't you just see that scene? Jamie, Fergus, Ian, Duncan... all yelling and bumping into each other like Scooby Doo near the wagon, only to find out it's some stinky Irishman who's been hiding all damn day next to a corpse? Oh holy hell I laughed at that scene. I loved Mr. Bonnet too, by the way. He's a great character. I hope we meet with him again.

*Roger Wakefield/Mackenzie has done an about-face and is almost as tasty as James Alexander Malcom Mackenzie Fraser, himself. I don't know when it happened, but he went from a nerdy, slightly anxious straight-laced guy to Hotty MacHottie, kilt-wearing, boner-hidden-behind-the-sporan-sportin', longish hair-raking MANLY MAN of the century!! I am thrilled to be reading about Brianna again. I cried when I turned the page and there she was, in 1969. I canna WAIT to see where this storyline is going to go. Will they go through the stones? I thank god that Roger can hear the buzzing and will be with her if she decides to go meet her father. *Thanks to for the hot kilt photo.

OH and Tracey (My Outlander Mentor aka MOM) is telling me I will get to the point where I can see how the overall story is evolving - and it's going to make me feel like I did when I realized Claire and Jamie were going to age 20 years. So far - here are the possibilities:

Possibility #1) I'm coming to the realization that Jamie and Claire will never leave the South, let along the Colonies. I want them back in Scotland. I don't want them in America. Let me amend that. I'll take my Jamie anywhere I can get him - but I'd prefer Scotland.

Possibility #2) I'm coming to the realization that Jamie is going to die - and that Claire is going to bury him. I canna even consider that thought without losing my shite... so... next:

Possibility #3) I'm coming to the realization that I love Roger and Brianna almost as much as Jamie and Claire, so they're going to grab the torch and be the next hot storyline once Jamie and Claire end up swinging on a porch swing? (Please dear LORD, let it be at LALLYBROCH!)

OK that's it for me. I'm leaving out so much but I really need to get reading. Later Sassenachs!


  1. I will comment more later this evening but holy CHRIST the description of Roger was funny!!!

  2. P.S. Since when am I your MOM???? What would PattzR say???

  3. OK, random responses...

    • Did you notice how they don't actually mention Mr. Willoughby re: the wee stabbers? Claire's like, "I got the needles from a friend" or some such nonsense. That was weird--does it mean Mr. Willoughby will never again appear??

    • Yeah, it does seem like people are far more stinky--and tolerant of it--back then. At least they don't get hugely into the whole bad teeth deal. Did you see John Adams?? Ye gods. That grosses me out far more than the stink.

    • Gots to say I was no put off by Claire's remark at all. IMO, all she was saying was that she had no man in her life for several years, so any servicing to be done was going to be self-inflected. It wasn't a reference to her sex life at all. If anything, it's a reference to her lack thereof-- isn't one more likely to be master of one's domain preciselly because they ain't gettin any??

    • LOL re: Scooby Doo--that was a good scene, with them all shitted up from being in the tavern (loved that). Mr. Bonnet...himmm....

    • Sooooo agree about Roger!! Woodstock Roger is FAR preferable to button-down Oxford Roger. Seriously, what was up with Bree NOT breaking off a piece of THAT?

    • I will say that at least one of those possibilities works for me.

  4. Love all your comments, oh Mentor Tracey. Now - let me remind you that Claire was gone for 20 years. She was alone for "several"? Um, no. Just 2 - after Frank died. You do the math. She might as well have said "Jamie - remember, I was a widow for 2 years after 18 solid years of la leche cocktials with Frank." Just my .02. And you're making me FREAK OUT over saying one of those possibilities works for you. I'm so afraid Jamie's going to die sooner rather than later!!!

  5. Re Stephen Bonnet: Keep reading!

    Re Roger: My love for Roger is only second to my love for Jamie. Oh God, I love that poor Roger. *hugs him and pets him and soothes his mortal soul*

    "wee stabbers"!! I love that. :)

  6. You know I really liked reading the "Claire and Jamie on the rock" scene. I know the widow comment was a little bad, but Jamie actually created life with someone other than Claire, and married Leg hair, so I figure whatever Jamie, suck it up LOL...

    I so agree that I prefer Jamie in Scotland and as annoying as it was that they always seemed cold in Scotland, I much prefer that to reading about the stinking heat!

    I love the possibilities you have, it will be interesting to see where it's going!!


  7. Leg hair = HILARIOUS. I'm dying. Thanks Jan for that laugh. :)

  8. Fortunately I had finished eating my lunch when I read your line: "I loved Mr. Bonnet too, by the way. He's a great character. I hope we meet with him again." Otherwise, my office mates would have been doing a Heimlich maneuver on me.

    I'm in the midst of a series reread and am enjoying your commentary. Thanks for many a laugh these past few months. -- Leigh